A dream I had (2013)


Let me tell you about a dream I had. In this dream, I had come into possession of a new multifunction wristwatch. The main concern of this dream was to explore the features of this watch.

The first feature was a climate control system that supported heating and cooling. The cooling was implemented as a fan that stuck out of the side of the watch. There were buttons that let you turn the cooling on and off and adjust the fan speed. There was also a feature (as a separate button) that let the watch set a random fan speed every second or so, so that you wouldn’t get used to the blowing on your wrist. Which yeah, that’s about as much as it accomplished: putting a breeze on your wrist, which I found uncomfortable. Maybe it would have felt better if it were hotter in the dream.

On the opposite side of the watch, there was a completely separate fan for heating. This fan had a heating element behind it. Neither the fan speed nor the heating element were adjustable, but you could still adjust the overall heating by moving the heating element toward and away from the fan. The heating felt quite nice on a low setting, but I was afraid that the element would overheat or something, since it would still be running at full blast, just with reduced ventilation from the fan, so I turned it off.

The next feature was on the back of the watch, so you had to take it off to access it. On the back of the watch was a yellow spiraly texture. This texture was created by a sheet of fabric that was artfully packed into a clear compartment under the watch. It was like, not folded, but scrunched up as if someone had pinched the center of the sheet and started twisting it until the sheet became a spiraly disk. To get the sheet out, you would pull it out through a small hole. I did pull it out without too much trouble, but I had no idea how I would get it back in. Anyway, the purpose of this sheet was to serve as either a tablecloth or a picnic blanket and nothing else. It was there so that you could always be ready for a picnic. But now its purpose had been defeated when I irreversibly removed it from the compartment while not at an actual picnic. The sheet was definitely big enough, and it had a nice thick, heavy feeling to it. I was surprised that it came out of such a small compartment.

I finally arrived at the timekeeping portion of the watch. It was the analog kind, with hands. At first, it seem strange and crooked, and it was showing the wrong time. I couldn’t figure out how to set the time. I found out that the time was actually correct, but the face (or whatever you call that part behind the hands with the numbers on it) was also a compass. So you would have to turn yourself to face north if you actually wanted to check which numbers the hands were pointing to. I’m a noob at analog clocks, so I would have to do this every time. I lined up the north on the face with a notch on the housing of the watch, and it turned out that the time was correct after all.

The last thing about the watch was that it was tethered by a pair of thin, uninsulated wires to a huge panel, about the size of a suitcase, which was obviously not portable. The panel had a variety of switches on it. You were supposed to use these switches to configure some settings of the watch one time and then disconnect it by irreversibly ripping off the thin wires. The panel would then become useless. Before I looked at the settings available on the panel, I was fiddling with the two connecting wires, trying to get them not to be shorted. I accidentally broke the wires in this process, so I was not able to configure the watch at all.

I hated that watch.

My last post was about either Little stories for every function key or People who get the absolute maximum sugar that the establishment allows and then act like you’re weird for not doing that to yourself. Find out which.